


repetition

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Freeform, LOTS of religious references n stuff, Post-Time Skip, Religious Guilt, Smut, atheism?? is tht a tag idk, honestly this makes no sense n is kind of a mess but, i rly wanted 2 write some netteflix bc ... i love them, tht is a tag wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Annette Fantine Dominic has sinned, she has sinned and cannot stop.
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	repetition

**Author's Note:**

> ok so i just rly wanted 2 write smth abt annette's internal conflicts regarding religion, specifically losing ur virginity before marriage n how she feels guilty but just cant stop indulging bc felix is so ... wow. and i kept listening to the song repetition by purity ring and this fic is literally just tht song but netteflix remix so give it a listen ! :) 
> 
> this was my first time writing for felix and annette but i luv them so much n have been reading queen of wands by nightsstarr n just ,, im an emotional wreck n just rly needed to write smthing so!! this is partially inspired by tht fic, if u havent given it a read yet pls do it is perfection.
> 
> formatting might be a little weird idk this is a mess i just love my babies ty.

Annette’s laughter was something quite akin to the sensation of nostalgia, reverberating through every crook and cranny of Felix’s heart, through palpitations and unexpected flickers of fire the same color as her soft hair. 

Felix would like to say he is absolutely enamored for the girl with smiles that bloom flowers, the girl who smells like rose-petal blend tea and daisies, enticing, very much so he doesn’t want to let her go when he holds her in his arms. 

Watching Annette was like watching a fire, he’s not sure if he finds comfort or uncertainty with the ginger becoming a fixture in his life. 

A body that his mattress remembers the silhouette of, lying beside him on nights that originally began after late sparring sessions but had somehow prolonged and dragged into their regular routine. Sleep wouldn’t take over his body without her soft snoring tickling his collar. His mattress has memorized the silhouette of her back, her small waist and all, pressed against comforters quite similarly to how Felix’s fingers press against pale, supple skin, lingering over the soft expanse, painting pictures into smoothness. Felix was never able to control his fervor as he leaned forward and pressed feather-light kisses against her, leaving fire in his wake as Annette’s body trembled with temptations. 

He thinks he likes uncertainty, if it means Annette will hold his hand tightly, will give him a look of uneasiness, lip held tight against her teeth before telling him how she longs for him and his touch, trusting Felix and bestowing him the gift of her insides and outsides. 

He loves being a sinner, going against the teachings of the Goddess, if it means he can inhale Annette’s scent of all things sweet and adventurous, vanilla mint, carnations and sickeningly sugary syrup. 

On some nights, with Felix’s much larger frame cradling hers delicately, much different to the way he handles literally everything else, Annette questions if all of this is actually okay. If the admonishing words her father chides could perhaps be correct, if the words gifted to her by the Goddess were true, if the feeling of Felix’s lips against hers were perhaps nothing more than needles, searing through her skin and dampening her good deeds in black poisonous ink. 

Felix was dangerous, Felix was a sinner, he didn’t care about the teachings of the Goddess, he never has. 

The boy who emits some sort of lull, some kind of hymn that has Annette absolutely entranced, has completely and wholeheartedly accepted who he is and what he wants. Annette cannot say she feels the same, but she can say that she feels the same heat brewing in her abdomen. 

She can feel the ache in the centerpiece of her ribcage, the quaking of her heart, it pounds for release, it bangs against her bones for freedom. 

Freedom away from Felix’s touches, freedom away from the boy who makes her feel everything all at once yet turns her body into the weight of absolutely nothing, light enough to whisk away into the clouds, floating, suspended in air. 

That’s the way Felix makes Annette feel. Like she’s suspended in the air. The way the words of Seiros she had been taught since she could speak tell her to tether back down to the earth, to get away from the boy who looks like an angel but lives like a devil would.

But was Annette Fantine Dominic any better? 

Annette, a girl who has hair the color of marigolds that’s more often than not tied in twin buns, if not, tousled and curled against protruding collarbones. Annette, a girl with a heart made out of pure gold, too kind for this universe, too accepting.

Would the Goddess accept her? Would she still be blessed despite the fact she indulged shamelessly and sinned?

She felt like crying. 

Felix Fraldarius was a man of high status and strength, would never have to concern himself with frivolous things like virginity. Annette couldn’t say the same for herself. 

House Dominic wasn’t that big, her parents, her uncle.. they had unspoken expectations for her. The Goddess blessed her with a crest, meaning her house could benefit quite a large dowry, ensuring stability for the Dominic territory. That is, if Annette retained her chastity.

She didn’t. 

What did she have left? Her father who rarely spared her a glance? House Dominic that she shamefully jeopardized for her own pleasure? 

Annette, a person desperate for approval, acceptance, admittance. She doesn’t believe in risks simply because she has taken the chance one too many times, and yet she took the biggest risk of all.

Felix Fraldarius reeked of risks. 

Felix Fraldarius was a sin. 

_ I’m a sinner, I will face the wrath of the Goddess. _

She believes in those words even when he hovers over her body, as she clings to his biceps, eyes squeezed shut. They echo in her mind as he drives into her fervently, lips pressed weakly against her own.

Even when Felix holds her in his arms, as she brushes a stray strand of navy blue hair out from his eyes and tells him she loves him. 

  
  


Something breaks in her as he whispers against her skin  _ don’t lie to me, Annie. _

She can only reluctantly bite her lip, staring at the swordsman with eyes filled with guilt because she’s not quite sure what to tell the boy who’s heart she can hear hammering against his chest. 

  
  


Felix never particularly enjoyed the company of others. Annette was different, he dreaded every moment they were apart. He was never the type to rest, always eager to train, but thoughts of Annette’s soft cries of his name never failed to break his momentum, the feeling of her lithe fingers intertwined with his calloused ones, her lips locked against his as he took her slowly but deeply. It’s what dragged him out of the training grounds on most nights, a hunger Annette could only satiate. 

They stay like that, for months. Months of having Annette beneath him, months of having his member wrapped around Annette’s lips, months of Annette’s belongings getting tangled within Felix’s own, scattered about his room. 

They lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. 

“Do you believe in the Goddess?” Annette asks timidly, voice etching with the intention of another question following in suit.

Felix turns his head slightly over to look at her, dark eyes just at the brink of death. He seems lifeless. 

Annie doesn’t blame him, with the way the war has been unfolding as of late, the Goddess has shown him no mercy, taking his father away from him when he needed him most. When the Kingdom needed him most. 

“I don’t.” He says bluntly, and the words taste kind of funny on his tongue because he has yet to say those words aloud. He hasn't vocalized his lack of faith, never been asked before. 

Annette isn’t fazed by the response. 

Felix likes to think that whoever is up there, if there  _ is  _ anyone up there, quite surely has an answer to all questions. 

Why did Glenn have to die?

Why did Rodrigue have to die? 

Why was the Kingdom doomed to fail? 

Why was it that whenever he finally managed to climb his way out this darkness did the Goddess pull him back down into the abyss? 

Happiness wasn’t permanent, he knew that. Euphoria was short lasting, something he only shared with Annette during the late hours of night. Merriment was brief, in moments where Annette sang ridiculous songs that would echo within the confinements of his mind for days.

He was in love with her, but she was just another thing he knew the Goddess would take away from him. A Goddess he didn’t even believe in, one that plagued the thoughts of his lover and convinced her that what they shared was  _ wrong.  _

Annette’s guilt weighed heavier and heavier as the days went by. She looked him in the eye, told him she loved him, and when he called her out for her lie, she didn’t even bother to deny it. 

Annette was avoiding him. She was much more silent these days, her legs carrying her to her own quarters after training. 

She hasn’t answered from the boy in over a week. She doesn’t know why exactly either.

Perhaps it’s guilt.

Felix can't bear to see the sun anymore, to see light painting the world in color, in pretty hues of verdant grass, azure waters and crimson roses. It had no right to beam so brightly when everything was so wrong. 

He spends days simply staring up at his ceiling, imagining a life where he wasn’t waiting for death to knock on his door. One where he could court Annette Fantine Dominic, do things the proper way, not tarnish her and her chastity. 

He was disgusting, he ruined her. 

He hasn’t prayed in years, not since Glenn died. Back then, he’d listen attentively to sermons, stories of his ancestors and the beloved Goddess who granted them such strength and power that flowed through his own veins. Now he no longer allows his fingers to linger against the hardcover that had once rested atop of his nightstand in his old bedroom, he doesn’t attend mass, never considers it despite how often Mercedes reminds him that it’s never too late to come back, the Goddess will always welcome him with open arms. 

He tried to believe in the teachings of Seiros. He had memorized pages and pages in hopes of  _ something clicking.  _ Some sort of feeling of comfort. Nothing.

He misses Annette, but he knows she probably doesn’t want to see him anymore, not after his statement of blatant heresy. 

Unbeknownst to the swordsman, Annette didn’t care. She believed in the Goddess, followed the church and their teachings, though she cannot differentiate whether it’s fear or genuine faith. Fear of the consequences, fear of upsetting her father, fear of the unknown.

She felt so empty, her skin cold.

She wishes to be held again, to have words she knows are nothing but sin whispered against her skin like prayer, to have her breath taken from her lungs and blown back into her face through heavy breathing. She wishes to be filled, to be one with Felix again. To feel him shake, hold onto her tight for leverage, moaning against her ear as he released into her, evidence of his pure desire overflowing out of her and staining his sheets, his heart  _ exploding  _ in his chest. 

She cries, realization striking down harder than the force of Meteor. She loves Felix, more than she loves the Goddess. 

Was it too late to repent? Was it all forlorn? 

Why was she knowingly going against the Goddess? 

He finally sees Annette again one late afternoon, hand held midair in the midst of knocking on Felix’s door. 

Her hair was styled in twin buns like she did in their academy days. It makes his heart clench in his chest.

The light in her skin had been dimmed. 

“F-Felix.” She stares at him, eyes unmoving, body paralyzed.    
  


It's been just a little over two weeks and yet Annette feels her entire heart collapse in on itself.

Felix looks a mess, but in such a particularly Felix way that Annette is winded. His hair is tousled, tied lazily into a bun, messy bangs framing his pale face. His top bun, it was Annette’s ultimate weakness, she can feel herself falling for the boy all over again. 

Her eyes read nothing but absolute regret, and before she realizes it, they’re flooding over with tears, streaming down her red cheeks. She shakes uncontrollably, feeling so incredibly guilty. 

Felix doesn’t say anything, he smoothes her shoulders down, hoping to calm her shaking before he steps past the barrier between them and wraps his arms around her, pulling her flush against his chest and settling his nose in the crown of her hair. 

  
“I’m sorry.” He muffles against her head, the words completely catch her off guard. 

She breathes his scent, inhales it like its oxygen and squeezes him so tightly before she breaks. 

Just those three words completely knock whatever preservation she had left. She sobs, she sobs and her resolve is broken, she grips onto Felix’s shirt, bunching the fabric in her fist and pulling Felix so impossibly closer. 

And that was what their relationship was. It was a never ending cycle, repetition was the only thing that kept and took them. They make up to break up, never quite sure if they’re content with where they stand, and Annette finds herself terrified for the day that Felix will no longer put up with her indecisiveness, until they’re nothing but memories. 

She never has the chance to dwell on it for too long because eventually their lips connect and so suddenly Felix is atop of Annette, bodies pressed against the mattress again. 

He thinks Annette looks pretty like this. Cheeks blushed crimson, eyes that shine with dark bliss, a sinful feeling enrapturing her entire being. He loves the way her thighs tighten helplessly around his head, how shame was thrown out the window as she chased pleasure desperately, rocking her hips into his tongue feverishly. He indulged with the same fervor, biting, nipping, making an absolute mess of her, the sobs she released only spurring him farther into hypnosis. 

He loves the way Annette presses her nails deep into his shoulder blades, how she grabs mindlessly at his hair, pulling apart his bun and freeing his navy locks, intertwining her fingers in the strands and gripping tight. Whimpering,  _ pleading  _ for her release and Felix provides, his fingers pounding into her ruthlessly, kissing her down there with just as much passion as he did her lips. 

She cries his name, repeats it like a mantra, like it’s the only word she knows as she releases all over his face. 

In the morning Annette is still beside him, Felix wraps his arm tight; securing Annette in place so the girl can't leave again. And when Annette awakens, it’s to the feeling of plush pink lips, pressing feather light kisses onto her temple and the space between her eyebrows. She has yet to open her eyelids, too comfortable in his warmth to allow herself to get up just yet.

“I love you.” He says, and she’s never heard his voice sound so gentle before. 

“I love you too.” She opens her eyes, looking intently into his crimson gold ones, hoping that this time, he believes her.

They presume, for now, that everything will be okay. 

Felix loves her enough to withstand the pain, to deal with the inevitable heartbreak if it means Annette will snore gently against his chest, her hair tickling his chin, legs intertwined with his own. 

Days are in black and white, constant training, war meetings, prayers lodged in his ears in the cathedral. In the afternoons, they’re filled with color.

The color of peaches, it’s the shade of Annette’s shiny hair, strewn against his pillow. 

A shade of pale pink, Annette’s pretty lips, pressed against his own. 

A bright, azure blue, such a hypnotizing color; the color of her eyes, locked with his own, looking at him with pure genuine love. 

**Author's Note:**

> if u liked it feel free to leave a comment !! i luv feedback hehe <33 lets cry abt netteflix 2gether


End file.
